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My visiting family member's logic: The smoke detector outside my room is chirping, it only has one button, therefore I should press that button. At 4am.

Every time someone says “Merry Christmas” to me:

Inner voice: Wait. Don’t they know I’m Jewish? I’m sure I told them. Or maybe I didn’t? That’s not a nice thing to say if they knew. Or maybe they think I’m one of those Jews that celebrate Christmas. Do I look like one of those? Or maybe it’s that I don’t look Jewish at all! Who am I kidding, I look like a rabbi. I wonder if Rabbi Kaplan is still alive. I don’t think so. Oh shit it’s been too long and I haven’t said anyth—

Outer voice: You too!

@defocused Please announce the big bowling meetup far enough in advance for me to arrange travel. I’ll be happy to ship some Purell in for Joe and other concerned attendees.

Somehow I missed until now that Counterpart is back for season two on Sunday. It is worth subscribing to Starz just to see this show. If you subscribe to their OTT service through Apple or Amazon, it’s really easy to unsubscribe after the season ends.

@mrssoup Do you think this robot unicorn is as cool as it looks? My 7yo wants one but I need a second opinion before I hit the buy button.

UBTECH JIMU Robot Mythical Series: Unicornbot Kit - App-Enabled Building & Coding Stem Learning Kit (440 Pcs) amazon.com/dp/B07GQJ1W4B/

A Christmas Prince must have done well for Netflix last year because the sequel definitely has a bigger budget.

I know printed photos aren’t that popular these days, but I highly recommend the Costco app if you have photos on iOS that you’d like printed. Easy selection, cropping and sizing in app, and no payment until you pick up in club.

Ralph Breaks the Internet Show more

You know the holidays have arrived when you’re stuck watching a mediocre movie at your family’s house, complete with motion smoothing.

Patriot Season 2 Show more

You can’t go home again, but you can chat about your workplace from 15 years ago with your driver from the airport, who works there part time.

< butt plug review > Show more

You know how Dorian Gray safeguards his painting?

You know how Scrooge McDuck protects his number one dime?

You know how Sméagol cherishes the One Ring?

Thats how I want app developers to feel about my scroll position in Mastodon apps.

Today on a conference call I told a group of five people we shouldn’t try to eat the whole elephant and they had no idea what I meant.

Is this not as common a saying as I thought?

Don’t tell me all at once.

Homecoming Show more

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Tusk.wtf

Part experiment, part longing for the days before Twitter went down the toilet.